I’m a 21 year old female. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years back, and it still seems to control my life. I take medication, I go to therapy, but I still struggle. I have a relatively new friend and he really seems to care about me, but I can’t help but pull him closer and then push him away. I don’t know why I do this, and I know it’s directly related to me being bipolar. I want to tell him this and want him to understand that when I act in ways that make no sense, it’s usually because I’m bipolar. I would tell him this, but I feel that he will think it’s just a cop out and that I’m using my disorder as an excuse. So, I’m posting this question in hopes that other bipolar people might be able to give me the words to explain who and how I am. I want this friendship to work, but it won’t if I keep acting like I do. Is this all my fault? Am I just using my disorder as an excuse? I need friends… I can’t seem to keep them around!
So my suggestion here is that you sit him down and tell him first how much you care about him and give him a little overview of what bipolar is for you. You may want to start the conversation by asking what he knows about BP since there are so many misconceptions about the illness. I say this because you don’t want to try to explain it all at once or any guy is going to say “Oh God what have I gotten myself into.” Then tell him that you have an appointment with your Doc and you would like it if he would come along to get his input. I don’t mean this as a trick but to be 100% truthful you want his input to the Doc to help with your treatment. Let’s face it, others that are close to us see things that we either don’t, or won’t, admit to ourselves. My Doc always laughs when I tell him my wife told me I had to come because I was being such an asshole lately. While with the Doc, have your Doc give him some information on what BP is and how it effects people. You will find one of two things. One he steps us and says yes I can deal with this and I love you. This is part of you and part of who you are and I’m willing to do what I need to, to help and be there for you. Or two he is going to run in the other direction. If he does, he isn’t the guy for you. Being someone that still wakes up every morning and loves his wife more than the day before, if someone doesn’t accept you 100% for who and what you are, you need to keep looking. My parents always told me marry your best friend so that you can discuss anything with them and it still holds true today for everyone.
I will wish you the best of luck with this and hopefully you have a keeper, but if not don’t take it to hard and remember there is a guy out there that is going to love you for each and every part of you no matter what and when you find him he will work with you on your BP and try to help you to stay stable and happy. Good luck!!!!