Does every person living with Bipolar experience the manic violent anger episodes that have been described on other areas of this site?
Do I experience irritable bite everyone’s head off Mania? Absolutely! But does that turn into rages of violent anger? Not that I, or my husband (I had to ask him, I was super curious!) can ever remember.
My rage tends to turn into passive aggressive behavior. (PS for those who love a little Passive Aggression … Passive Aggressive Notes … kick @$$ website!) The anger and rages builds up to the point where I go numb. Everything that comes out of my mouth is an indirect assault on whomever I’m angry at.
Other ways my mania comes out …
Spending … my manic mode LOVES to spend money! And it doesn’t care if I have it or not.
Racing thoughts … you know those moments where you’re thinking about one thing and then it moves on to another and then you think about it and think about it and then OH MY GERDS! Don’t forget about cleaning the bathroom tomorrow because if you don’t it will be dirty and that gives me and idea about my book and I NEED to go write that down right now but wait …nope that’s what I”m going to do but probably right after I call my sister about that thing that we talked about last week…. and yes, these thoughts occur THAT FAST!
Obsessiveness… I NEED to clean … everything. And possibly rearrange furniture and if I’m going to clean everyone’s going to clean. My family loves it!
I’m sure there are other ways my mania shows it’s face, some I’m probably not even aware of. And when I’m REALLY lucky it even gets mixed with depression. Let me tell ya depressing racing thoughts … So Much Fun! (or not!)
Mania is different for everyone. That’s why there are different classifications of Bipolar. Some include hypomania (which is more of what I experience) and others come with full blown raging over the top mania, something I’ve never actually experienced. There is no cookie cutter version of these and no two people experience them in the exact same way.
Isn’t bipolar fun!!!!