November 30, 2010
Do you worry that people will think you are dangerous if they find out you have a mental illness? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hate that you had to ask this question, but I understand why. Stereotypes are running our lives and have the potential to ruin them. The ball is in your court; however, and knowing how to respond will help. One action you can take is to talk openly about your treatment and how you’re feeling more positive or optimistic about life. Yes, we go through our ups and downs. As bipolar sufferers, those ups and downs can be dramatic. I do not think it’s important to convince people that you are normal. Instead, show them that you’re responding to treatment. If someone does think you’re dangerous, have them read up on your mental illness. If it’s feasible, ask them to talk with your doctor. They will end up with a [...]
November 29, 2010
If you are a sibling living with a brother or sister with bipolar illness, did you ever need to seek support outside your home? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Growing up in our house was a treat. There was enough drah-mah oozing out of our walls to win an academy award (“and I would like to thank my imaginary friend, Peter Alice, for supporting me…”). Had my 2 younger siblings had a proper diagnosis of Bipolar illness, things may have played out differently. With the older of the two younger (you following me here?), it was always a new school, a new theft, a new court date, another day at the family therapist. I never enjoyed telling a complete stranger that I often felt we should have been more Brady-like, that I often cried because the Brady bunch had it better. That little therapy trip didn’t last. I do remember that sibling having a [...]
November 28, 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why Suicide ? ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Suicide The taking of ones own life. Killing one’s self. Dying by one’s own actions. Causing one’s self to die purposely. Whatever the definition; it’s permanent. I’m sure most people, at one time or another, have participated in a discussion or debate about the issue of suicide. From my experience, both personal and professional (as I work in the mental health field) it is not an issue that is taken lightly by most. I’ve heard both extremes and pretty much everything in between, but I’ll just share highlights; it’s selfish, cowardly, the easy way out, a sin; to some it should be a person’s legal choice in certain situations and it should be a person’s choice and right at all times. I’m sure you noticed that leaves just a bit of gray area in between. It also leaves out most importantly; the people whose lives [...]
November 27, 2010
So now that we’ve told all of you what WE are thankful for, I think it’s your turn. Although you have set backs and such because of your illness, what do you have that keeps you going? What are YOU thankful for? (Gobble Gobble) Do you have a question that needs answering? Click here to submit… Tweet956068b3c2a736fc813e2bc5af558290Link to this post!
November 26, 2010
Vicky was finally diagnosed with a correct diagnosis of bipolar II in December, 2010 at the age of 46. Vicky believes that her illness started when she was 14 years old when she began to experience some depression. She began to feel depressed and experienced some suicidal ideation in grade nine when a male classmate committed suicide. At that time Vicky became withdrawn and self-absorbed. At one point her mother commented that Vicky seemed depressed. However no intervention was taken to provide Vicky with some sort of help or support. She struggled immensely throughout adolescence and in early adulthood. Vicky did not do well with transitioning from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. As Vicky continued to struggle in her twenties she often jumped from job to job. She became easily bored with most jobs and experienced a lot of frustration in the work world. She had even been fired from [...]
Must say this will probably be the easiest post that I will ever have to write. First and foremost I am most thankful for my wonderful, healthy and happy family. Many of us, (myself included, tend to take this for granted). Good health and happiness are not always a given in life and I truly believe in being thankful for this on a daily basis. I am so very thankful for my husband who loves me unconditionally faults, bipolar and all. I am truly one of the luckiest women in the world! I am thankful every week he comes home safe. He is a long haul contractor and drives a truck to the east coast and back each week. I have a mental illness; Bipolar1/Mixed Episodes, ADD and Panic Disorder. While I would never wish a mental illness on anyone, I have learned to live with it and have even [...]
November 25, 2010
Its that time of year where everyone lists the things they are thankful for, and although we often talk about how our illnesses have made our lives so difficult, I have to admit I have a LOT to be thankful for this year. This is a post I wrote last year, but I STILL mean every word! (As well as the ones I have added!) When I look back to where I was two three years ago, this is the situation I see this … I … – Quit my job because I lost my mind. – Lost most of my friends. – Then had to deal with my husband losing his job. – Was losing my house. – Lost my credit. – Had a father who was just recovering from quadrupedal bypass surgery. – Could not afford to buy gifts for my own children for Christmas so had to [...]
November 24, 2010
What am I thankful for, you ask??? That’s kind of a confusing question to answer… You see, there are times when I feel I have absolutely nothing to be thankful for… Times I feel the whole world is against me and nothing is going right for me… But then there are times that I remind myself of all the many things I have in my life… So, what are some of the things I remind myself of??? Well, I could list all the “smaller” things that some of us take for granted, such as a bed, food, a roof over our heads, clothes… You know, those things that we may not think about every day, but are oh so important to daily living… But I’m not going to list those… I’m going to talk about some of the major things I have to be thankful for… I’m thankful for my [...]
November 23, 2010
So I definitely agree with Jon — ‘what a year.’ I’m not so sure if we both mean it in the same way, but a lot has happened this year … many ups and downs and all-arounds but, here I am and I’m proud to say I have a list of things for which to be grateful! I have a thing for the number seven. Not a clue why, but I always have. So, today I’m going to list 7 THINGS I’M THANKFUL FOR:: 1) both strength and struggles in life I have gone through some major hardships, as have some friends I know … a few are going through them right now, and I’m constantly amazed at the strength people have when they think they have none left. And they can’t even see it in themselves. People are capable of so much, and if it wasn’t for the struggles, [...]
If someone could wave a magic wand and remove bipolar disorder from your life completely, would you do it? Or does it offer you some insights into life that those of us without the disorder can never begin to know? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yes. No. Yes. Yeah, not easy questions to answer… If I could, would I remove BPD from my life completely? Yes and No. My 19 year old son has been to hell and back too many times to count. As his mom, I’ve gone, too, but obviously on a different flight. No one should have to endure these travels. It’s kind of funny to wish that BPD didn’t exist because up until a year ago, it didn’t exist in our lives! All I had was a depressed kid who was trying to self-medicate because HE knew something wasn’t right and at the same time couldn’t muster either the energy [...]
November 22, 2010
Wow, 2010. What a year. I have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for my three sisters. They keep me grounded and make me feel normal. I am thankful for my best friends and their uplifting parents. I am thankful for my internet friends and my writing partners. I have been through a lot, but they are still here to support me and build me up for the next adventure. I am thankful for Reese’s PB Cups and Swedish Fish. They are oh so yummy. I am thankful for great reads in 2010: The Maze Runner, The Vast Fields of Ordinary, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, You, and Hero. I am thankful for happy music: Freelance Whales, Bombay Bicycle Club, Phoenix, Matt and Kim , The Weepies, and Passion Pit. Lastly, I am thankful for a job, exercise, and the hope that I will [...]
November 20, 2010
Having Bipolar Disorder, have you been able to befriend others with OTHER mental illnesses? How do you think theirs compares to ours? Would you prefer theirs to yours? Also, did you enjoy Other Mental Illness Week? Do you have a question that needs answering? Click here to submit… Tweete7d965a58aec99940ef5549fe719a1aeLink to this post!
November 17, 2010
My son, Jacob, does not have a diagnosis of Bipolar. What he does have is called Batten Disease. It is a rare progressive neurological disease that has no treatment or cure. This disease takes away the child’s abilities to see, walk and talk. It causes seizures and dementia. Jacob will be eight this month and thankfully he can still see, walk and talk! Another part of this disease is behavioral issues and we certainly have that going on with him! A little bit of history; Jacob was born 4 ½ weeks early but healthy. Very soon after his birth, he began to have problems that eventually led to a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy (CP) at the age of 15 months. A feeding tube was places at 20 months old and he started walking on his own at 33 months old. He has always been globally delayed which means that cognitive, [...]
November 16, 2010
So I’ve mentioned before that a while ago I was *misdiagnosed* as Bipolar II. For five years! Thing is, I can understand now completely why this occurred. Some friends still think the changed diagnosis (depression with severe anxiety disorder) is wrong — that I do, in fact have bipolar disorder. But I don’t… See, I have lupus, which I’ve also mentioned. Lupus is incurable and it causes quite a lot of problems — from everything to how I feel physically and emotionally, to how I run my daily life, to what I can and can’t do, etc… Right now, I’m in the process of filing for disability on both the state and federal level, as well as SSI, simply because the way lupus affects me is too harsh to hold down a real job. I’ve tried it and failed. The last job I had ended up making me really sick, [...]
November 13, 2010
Ok, now I know everyone has trust issues to some extent. Especially with bipolar and our awesome inevitable lack of self esteem. But I’m not really talking about trust issues with other people. ***Personal Question Alert*** Do you ever feel like you can’t trust yourself? Almost like you can’t trust your own feelings or emotions, not to mention decision making capabilities, because you don’t know if they’re really YOURS? Like maybe you wouldn’t really think/say/feel/do those things if you weren’t bipolar and/or manic and/or depressed? Do you have a question that needs answering? Click here to submit… Tweetc3b75ecbd65ea8ca55f77876e4d633aaLink to this post!
November 11, 2010
~~~~~ Having Bipolar illness, what symptom do you suffer from the most? ~~~~~ You would think that such a simple, straightforward question would have basically the same simple straightforward answer wouldn’t you? I mean the prefix of the word bipolar itself simply means two. So really, how many answers could there be? There is absolutely nothing simple about Bipolar Disorder. You could ask me this question every day for a week and I can pretty much guarantee you that each day my answer will be different. I know some of you are asking how can that be, if you’re bipolar you’re either simply sad and depressed or happy and exuberant. Oh how I wish it were that simple!! It’s true that bipolar causes changes in mood and some of the basic qualifying criteria for a diagnosis is that a person has had at least one episode of mania and one [...]
November 10, 2010
Have you ever lost a friend because they found out you have bipolar illness? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yes I did lose a friend because I have Bipolar Disorder and after nearly 10 years it still hurts. Losing a friend under any circumstances is always painful, but to lose a friend because I have an illness that in no way did I cause or have much control over at the time, for me is not only painful but also so unnecessary. “Joan” and I met in 1995 where we worked in the same Mental Health facility. We were both single moms…she had one daughter, I had three daughters and a son. All the kids got along well, but “Jane” and my “Sally” were very close. Joan and I hit it off from the start. We did just about everything together. We would take the kids on picnics, to the beach, to the zoo [...]
November 9, 2010
Have you ever used face-to-face support groups, where you sit in a room with other people struggling with the same illness and if so, did it help? If you haven’t, why not? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I actually attended quite a few face-to-face support groups. At first, I had no choice — they make you do it in the hospital and, of course, you can opt not to talk, but that’s not going to help make your stay there any shorter. Plus, I was all about getting better. I had checked myself in, so why not take advantage of everything they were offering? For me, I find that it always helps to get your own things off your chest, especially if you’re with a bunch of strangers. And not just strangers….these are people who are going through the same types of things you are — at [...]
November 8, 2010
When you were young, did you have manic symptoms? Or did you just struggle with depression and rages? Did the mania show up much later in the disease compared to other symptoms? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wow, I suppose it depends on HOW young we are talking. I think I’ve shown signs of bipolar since I was very young. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 6, so could that have been mania instead? Possibly. I think I struggled more with depression however. I can remember many times retreating to the comfort of a corner in our bathroom. The sadder/madder I became the more likely I could be found sitting atop our laundry chute. It was tiny and comforting and I was well hidden from the world. I remember often being told I was the child who “never stopped smiling.” Though that may have been true on the outside, it was merely [...]
November 7, 2010
I don’t know about you, but I have an extremely difficult time pushing myself to do pretty much anything… At least, when I’m in a depressed state… When I’m in a manic state (like today!!!) it isn’t nearly as difficult to do certain tasks, as most of you know… But, even when I’m manic, there are still things I can’t force myself to do… Things anywhere from going out in the night alone (major paranoia!!!), to going to work, to making serious decisions… I think the main reason I can’t push myself to do certain things is because I’m afraid… Afraid of doing the wrong thing, or failing at it (as Sylvia Plath said, “I avoid doing things, because if I don’t do them, I can’t be said to fail at them… A coward’s custard…), or of how it will affect someone else… Will they get mad at me??? Will [...]
November 6, 2010
With the holidays around the corner, I must admit, my anxiety levels are up a bit. The holidays have always been a rough time of the year for me. Juggling all the family functions, picking out the perfect presents for people, affording to by presents, not getting to spend time with everyone I want to… The list super goes on. So what about you? Do the holidays affect your moods? Do you have a question that needs answering? Click here to submit… Tweet3b6dc316f2121803547bdcd2dc15b2efLink to this post!
November 4, 2010
Did your family ever turn on you because they thought you were lazy and taking advantage of them, not understanding it was the illness that was causing your behavior? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Most definitely my family has turned on me!!! When I am in one of my depressed moods, all I do is lie in bed, as much as I possibly can… Certain people in my family (not going to name names!!!) believe that I should be up and doing things and that I’m just a “bum” Which, I probably should be up and doing things, because that’s the healthy way of dealing, but who’s always healthy??? Sometimes I’ll bring it up when they spend a lot of time in bed, but that’s not nearly as much as me!!! They don’t realize that the reason I’m spending all day in bed is because I don’t have the energy or will power to [...]
November 3, 2010
Early in your disease did you have problems getting people to believe you were struggling with a mental illness? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I’m not going to lie, the first person I had to convince about my diagnosis was myself. Although the doctor’s reasoning made perfect sense, I was not ready for bipolar disorder to be the thing I had. I was surprised, to say the least. My first step was to educate myself and be open-minded. Oddly enough, a former family friend had been diagnosed as bipolar a few years before I was. When anyone spoke of her diagnosis, the words, “It makes total sense” were usually included. She was the stereotypical example of a person with bipolar disorder. When I revealed my diagnosis to my family, they immediately compared, or rather, they contrasted me to our former friend. I was nothing like her in behavior or symptoms. But they had never [...]
November 2, 2010
Have you ever had trouble with the law because of your bipolar illness? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So it’s still undetermined what exactly is going on with me. I was *misdiagnosed* as bipolar for five long years, even to the point of taking an anti-psychotic throughout my entire pregnancy. Name a drug for depression or bipolar or anxiety, and they’ve probably put me on it. Except for lithium. For some reason, they stayed away from that… Anyway, to the point here. Yes, I’ve had an encounter with the law because of bipolar. As most people know, you’re not supposed to drink while on the wonderful cocktail of medicines the doctors give you. Well, I decided to ignore that rule for quite a while. In fact, and this will come later, but I believe it’s a big, huge part of why I was diagnosed as such. Well, one night, I was driving home from [...]
November 1, 2010
Does every person living with Bipolar experience the manic violent anger episodes that have been described on other areas of this site? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I can, without a doubt, answer this question with a big fat NO. Do I experience irritable bite everyone’s head off Mania? Absolutely! But does that turn into rages of violent anger? Not that I, or my husband (I had to ask him, I was super curious!) can ever remember. My rage tends to turn into passive aggressive behavior. (PS for those who love a little Passive Aggression … Passive Aggressive Notes … kick @$$ website!) The anger and rages builds up to the point where I go numb. Everything that comes out of my mouth is an indirect assault on whomever I’m angry at. Other ways my mania comes out … Spending … my manic mode LOVES to spend money! And it doesn’t care if I [...]
