January 30, 2012
Hello. I have been married for 9 years now, and my wife and I have an 8 year old daughter. My wife was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 2 years ago. She is currently seeing a doctor and is using medication for it. At first, both seemed to really help, but lately, it seems to have gotten worse. We fight in front of our daughter, and when things get at their worse, she instantly stops and makes me the bad guy to my child and becomes “mother of the year”, further adding to the knocking me down to an extremely low level. I know it is an illness, but it really feels like she is doing it on purpose. It’s to the point where I want to leave, but my fear of losing my daughter is crippling. My fear of losing my wife is crippling. I want to be with [...]
January 29, 2012
Bipolar disorder is an insidious illness which is invisible, but when I started creating the stigma, I knew it was going to be even harder to cope with this illness. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been forced to cope with my mental illness. I still do — no one has found a cure for bipolar disorder yet. During the crisis years, though, nobody knew anything was really wrong with me. I was experiencing a wild roller coaster ride of frightening highs and lows that put my life in jeopardy, but my disability was completely invisible. Granted, I was behaving rather erratically, flying from New York to Tokyo to Paris on business three to four times a month, counterfeiting art and smuggling tens of thousands of dollars back into the United States. At the same time, I was drinking heavily and indulging in drugs and alcohol (self-medicating my [...]
January 28, 2012
That was a rhetorical question of course. So I asked … and you guys gave an overwhelming response! And when I say overwhelming I mean a slap in the face “Wow! Why the heck did I even say that?” kinda thing. I seriously felt kinda silly for even asking the question in the first place. HOWEVER … I’m glad I did. Your responses reminded me to stop being so ridiculous and open my eyes to see that it’s not about me and it’s not about my insecurities … It’s about all of you! I started this site for a reason and it’s good to know that it was not done in vain. I wanted to help others and it seems to be what I’m doing. (WIN!) So I just thought I’d share some of the reasons I REFUSE to be a quitter … Karen T said, “Yes, you are helping [...]
January 27, 2012
I have been dealing with my bipolar for more than 20 years and felt that I had gotten a handle on keeping myself stable. My relationship with my doctor is good and we adjust medications as needed. Over the last two years, I have felt more out of control. Are things changing because I’m getting older? Will I eventually just explode? It is really difficult to say whether Bipolar Disorder worsens with age. Unfortunately there is no black and white answer to your question. The jury is still out on the subject and more research is required before this question can be answered. Some people claim that their Bipolar Disorder worsens as they age and some claim that their symptoms become less frequent and less severe. There are just too many variables and factors that are involved to really know either way. You have mentioned that in the last 2 [...]
January 26, 2012
I’m wondering if any fellow bipolarees have some coping tips for getting through a depressed episode or just a bad day after a period of stability. I ask, because three months ago, my doctors finally found an effective medication combination, and my depression lifted almost immediately. After living for over 5 years completely consumed by depression, when I now have a bad day, I fear falling back into that debilitating place. Up to this point, I’ve been pretty good at reminding myself that bad days are normal for everyone, even healthy people, and I just have to be kind to myself. But recently I’ve been feeling increasingly worse, and am pretty sure I’m having a depressed episode. Any suggestions on how to ride this out, without falling further into the black hole that consumed me for several years? I’m terribly fearful of what may happen. How do you get through [...]
January 25, 2012
How common is rage in a manic phase for children with bipolar? I would have to say rage can be just as common as sleep deprivation, or agitation or any other symptom that goes along with mania. It really depends on the individual child as to how common each symptom is. Because we are all individuals and that makes each of us different therefore our symptoms are different. But for this article we will concentrate on rage. We will use my daughter as an example. Bug was first diagnosed bipolar at the age of 7. It was a rough road at first. She had constant mood swings and her most frequent mood was mania and along with it came rage. She would be so hyper she would be bouncing off the walls almost literally. I mean you couldn’t have sat on her and held her down. She would be playing [...]
January 23, 2012
I was diagnosed with BP 11 years ago, around the time I met my husband. We are 30 now and have been discussing starting a family in a year or so. We are both anxious about me weening & remaining off my meds for a year, but there are too many health risks for the baby, otherwise. How have other BP women dealt with pregnancy and maintaining stability? I was around 30 when I had my last child. I was either 30 while I was pregnant or turned 30 the year I had her, can’t remember which. Anyway, not really that important. I had not been diagnosed bipolar yet but I was having major symptoms and we were on a military base. The military doctors, before I got pregnant, were trying to get my symptoms under control with stuff like Ativan, Xanax, and finally Prozac. They gave me Prozac either [...]
January 22, 2012
What should I do? I feel like my voice isn’t getting heard. What should I say? Should I say anything? Will they hear me? Will anyone listen? Am I out here standing in this crowd alone? Will anyone hear me over the noise? I feel like my words are getting lost in the wind, or getting sucked up in the chaos and no one hears me. Do you ever feel this way? Is it just me? Surely, I am not alone. What do you do when you feel so frustrated? So what do I do? I can only write. Write what I feel and hope that someone somewhere, somehow will see it and it might touch someone the way it touches me. I pour everything I’ve got into it, each time I write. I never give it half a try. Its all or nothing. And then I send it out [...]
January 21, 2012
As you can tell by our lack of regular posting, life has been a bit off kilter. This would be okay … had life not been off kilter for about the last, I don’t know, 30 years or so. Don’t get me wrong. Not ALL of my life has sucked. And for the most part I’ve been decently happy. The problem is … to be decently happy, I have to fight soooo hard. Every day is a battle to keep a smile on my face. Sometimes I know why, other times I don’t. The one thing I do know is … I am tired of it taking SO MUCH EFFORT just to remain moderately positive. Today particularly feels like a battle which puts the Revolution to shame! I’m pretty sure I haven’t REALLY genuinely smiled once. And the further into the day I go the likeliness of a smile occurring [...]
January 20, 2012
I’m scared of my self and of people around me. If I’m in a situation were i don’t know someone i get so scared, i cling to people of whom i am with. I pick and stratch at any cut or mark i have, it gets bigger and i do it again and again.. i don’t know what to say, I’m sorry Having fears is okay. Having fears all the time usually is a sign that you’re dealing with some issues of anxiety. I know how very irritating and painful anxiety can be for a person trying to live their life. What you are feeling seems to be some very classic signs of anxiety. I’ve actually dealt with all the ones you’ve listed above. I can tell you that with practice you can take some steps to ease those anxieties. I am not in the medical profession at all so [...]
January 17, 2012
I am a 45-year old woman. I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder 4-years ago. My life has been a nightmare since. I am having a real hard time with my thinking. It is very negative, I am depressed, and I can’t snap out of it. I also have anxiety attacks every morning. They have gotten bad over the holidays. Would anyone have any tips for me? My first thought when I read your question was I wonder if this person’s Bipolar has been or is being treated with any medication. My second thought was that if you have been medicated for the last 4 years is your medication no longer working? Seeing that you were diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 4 years ago I am going to presume that you have been on some sort of medication. Providing some tips is a little difficult with the information you have given but [...]
January 16, 2012
I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II and my doctor put me on Lamictal. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to be reacting well to it– my moods are continuing to swing and my vision seems to have become hypersensitive. Should I expect side effects with all medications, or should I look for something different? I’m concerned that the side effects will prevent me from ever feeling “normal” again. First of all, as we all know, nothing is ever perfect and that includes finding the right medication. The only thing we can do is strive to find something as close to perfect as we can get or what we are comfortable with. All medications come with the possibility of side effects in varying degrees. You have to decide (usually with the help and consultation of your doctor) if the pros outweigh the cons. What are you willing to live with in order [...]
January 13, 2012
My daughter (20 yrs old) was just diagnosed with Bipolar II. She has been on the meds (Wellbutrin & Seroquel). She was doing great when she got out of the hosp. for about 2 days. Her Dr. upped the seroquel & she seemed somewhat better. I was wondering how often the meds are adjusted in the beginning? Right now she does not have a doctor to adj meds for about another week. Any insight you could give me would be greatly appreciated. I can definitely help you here. Med’s are usually adjusted frequently in the beginning even changed possibly, until that “just right” (I won’t say perfect because we all know nothing is ever perfect) combination is found that makes us feel most stable. And do any of us ever reach 100%? I’m not sure. I really don’t think so. 100% would mean a cure, and we all know there [...]
January 12, 2012
I am very ambitious and rather intelligent. My bi-polarity is accompanied by a very vibrant personality. So in my job I will throw myself into it…but I work in the corporate world and the people are very focused on pushing you beyond your limits. This for a “normal” person would be difficult, but I feel this is tough on someone who experiences everything so much more intensely. I do not get time for lunch brake, I get no time to gym (which is very important to me) and I feel like I am losing my lease on life. I am having more regular suicidal thoughts, and my moods change more drastically now…I do not want this condition to affect me career wise, but its not like I cannot pretend it is not there I wish I could say that it is super easy to work AND cope with bipolar, but [...]
January 10, 2012
I’m 13 years old and I think I have bipolar disorder. At school often fluctuate between feeling happy or sad. When I’m happy, I feel like I can’t stop talking and I hate it when people interrupt me even more and I get mad at them. I don’t think about what I’m going to say in social situations. Sometimes I can’t stop laughing. Half of the time I’m ridiculously impatient. Two teachers I’ve ever had has not gotten mad at me for talking to much or speaking out of turn. Mostly talking to much. A lot of the people in my classes hate me (I know because a friend told me) and one even asked if I have ADHD and told me to get on meds. When I feel depressed, my friends can normally cheer me up. Most of the time, I feel like I can’t work and procrastinate a [...]
January 9, 2012
Say you are bipolar, and instead of taking medications or getting treatment, you self medicate with street drugs. The person won’t admit any problem but say they have another personality. Is that possible? Unfortunately, these types of things can happen. There are many people that self-medicate with street drugs or alcohol, which is what I did for a long time. Without seeking medical attention and receiving a diagnosis, many people will try different things that will make them feel better, whether its making them happy because they are sad or grounding them because their head is spinning in a whirl of racing thoughts. Once they find something that makes them feel better, depending on what that substance is, they will use that to calm their stormy path and instead of trying to figure out what the cause of the discontent is, they can become addicted to the substance which can [...]
January 5, 2012
Hi, for the last few years I have had a feeling I had Bipolar but I didn’t really think of it till I got told I had it in Jan 2011, I had Quite a bad down Nov2010 but then I went really high Dec2010-Jan 2011, March till Aug 2011 I was fine, then I started to Rapid cycle and start of Nov 2011 I went downhill fast, and here I am, blaming myself for falling again! Will I ever get better???? That’s a question we all ask ourselves at one time or another, sometimes on a daily basis depending on where we are in our treatment and what mood we are in, whether we are manic, depressed, hypomanic or rapid cycling. Are we ever truly stable? What is this elusive normal that people speak of? We all struggle so often to be what we will never be able to [...]
