How does having bi polar effect your relationships?

Dear Spectacular Sammi,

I read your profile on ‘About the Author’ and it sounds like you are on the road to stability and I am so glad to hear it!
I have a friend with bi polar and I would never have known it if she hadn’t told me. However, she says it deeply effects her relationships. So here’s my question: how does having bi polar effect your relationships?

God Bless


Relationships??? What are those???

No, seriously, bipolar affects my relationships in so many ways… The most profound way it affects them, however, is actually having them… I find it extremely difficult to make friends, or even introduce myself to someone… It’s easier when someone introduces me to one of their friends, and I know we have something in common… But I almost never randomly go up to a person and just start talking to them, not even people that I’m around all the time…

Then comes the whole issue of carrying on a conversation, and that’s quite difficult… I mean, what do you say to that person??? How do you answer their questions??? And, of course, do I tell them I have bipolar??? I know, these are problems most people have to some degree, and I understand that… But I feel that I have a tough time with it, anyway… Well, most of the time that is… When I’m really manic, I can talk to anyone at any time about anything… The rough part there is shutting me up… And having me make sense!!! I know that sounds really confusing, but in all actuality, it’s not too much so… When in a depressed, and even an even-keel state, I have a difficult time talking to others… When in a manic state, I talk to everyone I know!!! Of course, communicating is a whole other story… You know, the whole making sense and conveying your thoughts/feelings… Yeah, not so much fun…

It is harder to keep friends when I am in a depressed episode… I tend to isolate a lot, and don’t want to see or talk to anyone… And when I am with someone, I have no opinions or thoughts of my own… I just go along with whatever they say/think/do… I’m a puppet of sorts… And who wants to hand around a puppet all day??? Well, except for Robbie from Victorious, of course… His dummy is always with him!!!

My family has it just as rough as my friends do… Even though I tend to hide my feelings and emotions from a lot of them, they still get some of my wrath… They are the easiest people to take my anger out on (besides myself, of course…) But at the same time, I depend on them for so much…

The one person who gets the most of my depression/anger/mania/whatever is my pastor… I call him anytime I need to talk, whether it’s because I feel like doing something destructive, or I’m just really upset, or even when I’m really excited about something and just want to tell someone… I’m sure he is the one that is most confused by my emotions, but the one that accepts me the most, too…

My bipolar affects all my relationships to the point it even affects my relationship with God… I won’t go into my religion, but there are times I’m so angry at Him for burdening me, but there are also times I praise Him endlessly for blessing me… I always love Him though!!!
It’s difficult for the other person(s) in the relationship, and I know this… I mean, how are they supposed to deal with the constant ups and downs??? The never knowing how I will react to something (which can change from one day to the next…) Especially when it’s sometimes hard for me to deal with… It’s hard on them… This is part of the reason I have so few friends-I don’t want to burden others with my problems…
It’s not all hardships, though… Having bipolar has made me, in my mind, more insightful and compassionate… I feel I am better able to help others… I have some people who come to me when they need someone to listen to them… And I will listen and, if they need it, give them advice… I like to think I have helped at least a few people throughout my life…

Relationships are an important part of life, though… I try to remind myself that people were made to interact with each other… As stated in “It’s a Wonderful Life”-“No man is poor who has friends…”

God bless!!!

One thought on “How does having bi polar effect your relationships?

  1. I am bipolar and it does affect my relationships too. The one it affects the most is my relationship with my fiancee. Its been really hard for him to understand me and be with me and tolerate my ups and downs. For the longest time, he didn’t know what to do and so just spent as much time away from home as possible. That was probably the hardest thing, knowing that the person you love the most doesn’t want to be near you. As I went through therapy and became more stable, it became easier for me to talk to him about my ups and downs, what is helpful and what is hurtful during those times, how we could work together to keep me stable, and a variety of other things to make things a little easier on both of us. Its still hard when I fluctuate, and I know he will never fully 100% understand, but communicating with each other about it when I’m more stable and not all over the place has been remarkably helpful. Whenever we would try to talk when I was cycling, it was always more frustrating and made things worse. My friends however, when I first meet people, they say they never would guess that I had it. Its not until they know me for a bit and then they can see some signs of it, but being bipolar does affect relationships and the only way they get easier is effort on both sides (at least in my experience).

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