Why does bipolar make me so moody?
I think anybody with Bipolar Disorder has asked themselves, “What is wrong with me?” It is very frustrating to have an illness that really isn’t understood and we have to try and deal with it. And for many of us, we do not have support so we are literally facing this illness on our own.
In all reality, I do not feel there is something wrong with you or anybody else who has Bipolar Disorder. You have a condition that has been diagnosed that has symptoms that aren’t very pleasant. I so get that. We are constantly dealing with a roller coaster of emotions, moods, and other behaviors. We have to try and balance that out so we can live our lives effectively and to the best of our ability. And sometimes our reality is hard for others to understand.
I often ask myself this question when I am depressed. Depression gets the best of me. I, in all reality, try not to let that happen but it does happen. I think when we do not feel well is when that question is asked. I can only tell you how I deal with it.
When I start asking myself that question, I know I need to look at the big picture of my life. What’s true? What’s not true? I usually am on my way “down” in the roller coaster of moods and emotions during that time. I admit, sometimes, it’s is just plain hard not to think there is something wrong with me. In all reality I do not have the plague. I don’t have anything contagious. I DO have an illness few understand. I have learned to be easy on myself during these times of “down” mood or just plain depression. I give myself leeway to just be! To just be me! To feel what I am feeling. I know when I am depressed I have to try my hardest to put on a “face” that others want to see or hear. I even do this with my psychiatrist sometimes and she can see right through it. I also try and make myself do one thing during the day if I am very down. And man, that is just plain hard! But I try and make myself do it so I can feel like I have accomplished at least one thing each day.
During a high or mixed state I tend to think very differently. When I am high life is good and nothing can interfere. You know what I am talking about here. When I am in a mixed state I tend to ask myself if there’s something wrong with me, but I deal with it differently. I hate mixed state. You don’t know up from down and everything is well, all mixed up! I tend to find more positive in these states so my life experience is a bit different.
So….is there something wrong with you? In my opinion, the answer is no, there is not anything wrong with you. You do have an illness that needs treated and dealt with in a manner that is suitable for you. I do not think it’s something “wrong”. I do know that society today looks at those with mental illnesses like there is something wrong and that’s a fight that is battled all the time by those that are afflicted. And, it’s just simply not true! However, I beg to differ with those and choose to look at it like we need understanding and education. Somehow, we have to band together and make it known that no, there’s nothing “wrong” with us, but we are a people who needs to be understood. And, a society that needs educated so this question need not enter our minds at anytime, anymore, or ever in the future.