I am at the end of my rope, barely hanging on. My husband, stepdaughter and stepson all are bipolar. They are driving me crazy. They are right and everybody else is wrong. I get cussed at put down and feel like nothing more than a maid to my husband. I have dealt with this almost 20 years and I am about to walk out. I just need to vent. The sights I have been to say not to take it personally when they say unkind things but you can’t help but take it personally. Especially when they don’t admit they have a problem. The son and daughter both have been diagnosed as bipolar but they do not take their medication as prescribed and my husband thinks there is nothing wrong with him. I have developed fibrmyalgia and depression since living this way and I just can’t do it anymore.
You are certainly dealing with a lot having three people with Bipolar Disorder directly affecting you as a person. I am so sorry that it is so rough and I hope maybe I can help you. You definitely have dealt with this for a very long time. I can surely see why you are at the end of your rope.
When somebody says something unkind or hurtful it is very hard not to take it personally. Especially, if it keeps happening and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. It sounds like the three people in question here definitely need to be taking their medications. They certainly can’t be living life to the best of their abilities without medications or even therapy for that matter.
There are a few points I have that could possibly help you. I hope they give you hope.
- Have you made boundaries so they KNOW this behavior is inappropriate and you will NOT stand for it?
- Have you put consequences into effect so they know what they are doing is wrong?
- Have you sought help for yourself?
- Lay down the law. Make sure they know what it is and stick to it.
- Have you tried to sit down with your husband or is that futile? Use “I” statements so he doesn’t feel attacked.
- Have you thought about removing yourself from the situation to protect your psychological state as well?
- Do you have friends or relatives you can talk to?
- Are there friends or relatives that could possibly intervene without much repercussion?
- I know certain websites might say to ignore the hurtful language, but my opinion is there is never a reason for hurt even if a person is sick. The disease can be controlled.
- Are you doing self-care? This is so important to last in a situation like you are in.
- Who can you trust? Who can help you?
- Can you contact their psychiatric providers and clue them in as to what is happening?
I know these are just points but I hope maybe they will help you. I have never been one, even with Bipolar Disorder, to really lash out or be hurtful. I can’t imagine doing it.
I personally think in this situation it’s time to take care of yourself and possibly remove yourself from the situation. Yes, people with Bipolar Disorder are sensitive, and their moods go all over the place, but it is never a reason to hurt somebody and then not take responsibility for it.
If there’s any other way I can help you please don’t hesitate to ask at shari (at) askabipolar (dot) com.