Am I safe with my son living in my home?

My son has been living with me for over a year.  He is going through a divorce,no children, and has lost his house and job and dog.  He was seeing a psychiatrist for meds, lamictal and adderal.  But, he became fixated on his divorce and insisted that instead of seeing the therapist to talk to he just went to the psychiatrist for the adderal.  He did not fill the lamictal prescriptions.  Several times recently he became violent with me.  I have an order of protection and he has been in jail for two months because we cannot make bail.

I need to know if he is on probation and lives with me taking his medications am I safe.  I am the only one in the family with a place for him to stay.  I am hoping he will be given and accept inpatient treatment and probation and don’t know what to do if he talks his way out of treatment and the court just turns him out on the street.

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First, it sounds like you have been trying to help him and get him to the right professionals.  Way to go Mom!  I commend you for getting the protection order.  It sounds like he didn’t heed the order and he ended up in jail.  That sure is a sad situation.

Bipolar disorder sometimes makes people behave in a way they are ashamed of.  It sounds like in this very situation that violence has occurred.  That is never acceptable.  I certainly hope you are OK and didn’t get hurt as a result.  I understand your son is in jail, but right now it could be the best thing for him.  If he’s in jail because he failed to heed the protection order then it shouldn’t be you bailing him out.

Bipolar disorder can do funny things to people.  It makes them act in ways that are unacceptable, but the person with the disease doesn’t like their behavior either.  Sometimes it seems like a no-win situation.  When they don’t take their medications then that poses another whole problem.  I understand that side effects are not pleasant.  If he actually filled his medications and took them then his mood might become stable.  If he couldn’t stand side effects or just didn’t want to take the medications, I don’t know.  Sometimes people with Bipolar Disorder like the way they feel during a manic high so they refuse medications.

It sounds like your son was having difficulty with the idea of taking medications.  We have all done that at some point.  What makes me sad is that he’s not getting the right help he needs.  If he would just reach out.

Then you can try and try to help someone and try to get them the right help, but they just refuse.  I  understand family or friends keep trying.  Sometimes you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.  That doesn’t mean you’ve given up but you still have hope they could get the help they need.

As far as your question goes about being safe in your home; it sounds like you are clearly at risk.  The protection order needs to be heeded by him  and you need to make sure he heeds it in order to protect yourself.  I know as a Mom myself it would be very difficult to do that and basically say no to your son from entering your premises.  However, you need to protect you and anyone else that enters your home.

If you have anymore questions please feel free to email me at shari @ askabipolar dot com.

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