He’s A Different Person Now. What Do I Do?

My boyfriend has bipolar 2. We have been together for over a year. The past few months have been so difficult and have become increasing worse in the past couple of weeks.  He used to have such a passion for life and for me , but now he seems only passionate when we are being physical. He went a whole week last week without talking to me, then finally apologized.  The past few days he  has done nothing but yell and try to fight with me because I’ve been crying. We have been living in different states for a few months but he is supposed to be moving here in a couple of weeks. I’ve told him in a number of ways that he is acting different but he doesn’t seem to believe me, or care. The patient, caring, nurturing and loving man I knew doesn’t seem to be around any more. What can I do while I’m in the situation? He sees a therapist and is medicated but I know something is different and it’s hurting me. Is there anything I can say or do?

 

So the point becomes what do you do? This would be my suggestion. Welcome him and make him feel like you really want him to come, but do it with the knowledge that it may be a few weeks before things get settled down and back to “normal”. You are going to have to keep an eye on him and make sure that he is taking his meds as he is suppose to. This may mean counting the pills, setting them in a daily organizer and checking it to make sure that he is taking them, or some other method that you can come up with. It may be as easy as seeing that he takes them with meals and seeing him take them. Depending on the medication this may or may not work. I know I have one I have to take with food but one that I take a night right before bed. If he is not taking his meds you face a really tough situation because if you tell him you know he isn’t taking his meds he may become defensive or accuse you of spying on him. He may lie and say yes he is taking them or one of many other things and you have to be ready mentally and emotionally for this. If this happens you will need to make the decision if this is what you want to go through now, or in the future, with this or any person. If it is then you will have to learn to live with and work with it but if not then you have to be prepared to end it, as hard as that may be. You just need to go into having him come to you with your eyes wide open.

 

I hope that everything works out for the best for the both of you and you find the happiness that you both deserve.

2 thoughts on “He’s A Different Person Now. What Do I Do?

  1. My boyfriend has bipolar 2. We have been together for over a year. The past few months have been so difficult and have become increasing worse in the past couple of weeks. He used to have such a passion for life and for me , but now he seems only passionate when we are being physical. He went a whole week last week without talking to me, then finally apologized. The past few days he has done nothing but yell and try to fight with me because I’ve been crying. We have been living in different states for a few months but he is supposed to be moving here in a couple of weeks. I’ve told him in a number of ways that he is acting different but he doesn’t seem to believe me, or care. The patient, caring, nurturing and loving man I knew doesn’t seem to be around any more. What can I do while I’m in the situation? He sees a therapist and is medicated but I know something is different and it’s hurting me. Is there anything I can say or do?

    So the point becomes what do you do? This would be my suggestion. Welcome him and make him feel like you really want him to come, but do it with the knowledge that it may be a few weeks before things get settled down and back to “normal”. You are going to have to keep an eye on him and make sure that he is taking his meds as he is suppose to. This may mean counting the pills, setting them in a daily organizer and checking it to make sure that he is taking them, or some other method that you can come up with. It may be as easy as seeing that he takes them with meals and seeing him take them. Depending on the medication this may or may not work. I know I have one I have to take with food but one that I take a night right before bed. If he is not taking his meds you face a really tough situation because if you tell him you know he isn’t taking his meds he may become defensive or accuse you of spying on him. He may lie and say yes he is taking them or one of many other things and you have to be ready mentally and emotionally for this. If this happens you will need to make the decision if this is what you want to go through now, or in the future, with this or any person. If it is then you will have to learn to live with and work with it but if not then you have to be prepared to end it, as hard as that may be. You just need to go into having him come to you with your eyes wide open.

    Been there done that for years be fore my wife starting taking her own meds, on her own accord. I gave up with her and turned it over to the Lord. Guess what there is always help from God and I mean always, he wants people who are being made whole. By His power.

  2. I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend also has bipolar, and we have been together for a year and a few months. It was great in the beginning, but things started changing. His moods are extreme and when we argue, all I do is cry. We’ve talked about his illness and how he’s lost his passion for me it seems, but he says he just “doesn’t feel much about anything.” He’s on meds, and those might be why he feels so numb. But every day is a new day to him, and he could wake up in a great mood or not. His feelings change day to day, even about me and his family. It’s a complicated disease and we can’t really understand what goes on in their heads. I would suggest this: Be positive, happy, and encouraging to him. If he’s mean, don’t take it personally, it’s just the disease. If you really love him, stand by him and try to help, even if that means leaving him alone for a few hours/days. Do what is best for him. Communication is essential. You need to be able to discuss what mood he’s in and if you need to back off. Find a support group for yourself, and for him too, even online. Diet and exercise also help. Best of luck! Glad I’m not the only one feeling like this…

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