Will I ever get better????

Hi, for the last few years I have had a feeling I had Bipolar but I didn’t really think of it till I got told I had it in Jan 2011, I had Quite a bad down Nov2010 but then I went really high Dec2010-Jan 2011, March till Aug 2011 I was fine, then I started to Rapid cycle and start of Nov 2011 I went downhill fast, and here I am, blaming myself for falling again!

Will I ever get better????  That’s a question we all ask ourselves at one time or another, sometimes on a daily basis depending on where we are in our treatment and what mood we are in, whether we are manic, depressed, hypomanic  or rapid cycling. Are we ever truly stable? What is this elusive normal that people speak of? We all struggle so often to be what we will never be able to be.  We put so much pressure on ourselves trying to obtain a standard in life that is set so high it is impossible to reach therefore we end up letting ourselves down.  But stability is possible in some form and you can get better although you will never be “cured”.  There will always be those times of ups and downs and crazy in-betweens.  Our success depends on how we handle these times and our focus should be on taking care of ourselves the best we can and trying not to overwhelm ourselves.  And above all seek treatment.  If you are not in treatment already, then it is very important that you seek help.  It is important to have someone experienced in this area that can recognize your symptoms and help you maintain your well being.  If you are already in treatment and you start to feel “out of balance” then go to your caregiver whether that is your pdoc or therapist and let them know how you are feeling so they can make the necessary adjustments to your treatment or give you advice on what adjustments you need to make yourself.  It is very important that you stay in contact with your doctors.

It is normal to have a bad day or maybe a couple of bad days but when it turns into a bad week then maybe it’s time to call the doctor.  It’s also normal to wake up one morning and have some extra energy and feel “fit as a fiddle” but when you start trying to take on the world maybe you need to call the doctor and let him know you’re a little manic.  Rapid cycling is tough.  I spend a lot of my time there.  It is my biggest obstacle.  I am as stable as I have ever been in my entire life and I feel great.  My life is on track & I have goals.  I have accomplished a lot over the last year and I hope this next year holds just as many rewards, but I have also lived the last 12 months going thru rapid cycling.  I also have my share of mixed episodes.  It’s never easy.  But you can’t see the rainbow before the rain, right.

The important thing is to take care of yourself the best way you can during any episode.  I know when you’re feeling down that’s easier said than done, that’s the last thing you feel like doing, but we must put a little effort into it.  We are our own best advocate.  The healthier we eat the better we will feel.  If we exercise (even a little bit) it will also make you feel better.  The better we care for our bodies the more balanced we will feel.  It won’t make you stable, don’t get me wrong.  But it will help.  It will help over all make you feel better.

Always seek treatment.  Professional help is always a good option.  The doctors know what they are talking about and if you are having trouble then your meds may need to be adjusted or changed.  I hope you start feeling better. Remember every mood swing changes.  That is the good and bad thing about bipolar.  A mood swing doesn’t last forever.  So if you’re having a hard time now try to stay strong knowing that how your feeling now isn’t going to last forever you’ve just got to focus your energy on getting thru each day one day at a time. If that is too hard then focus on getting thru one hour at a time, one minute at a time.  Break it down as small as you need to, to make it manageable for you to deal with.  The one thing I DO know about people with bipolar disorder, we ARE stronger than we give ourselves credit for and we are very resilient.

2 thoughts on “Will I ever get better????

  1. Well said (written!). Hang in there, this too shall pass, one minute/hour/day at a time….! Don’t you think it also gets a little easier managing a chronic health condition when you have experienced getting through all the bumps and dips and hills and mountains? I know it does for a mom who has experienced these with her daughter! ( – : It isn’t easy but there is a feeling of “we’ve been here before and we’ve made it through this before” with grace (sometimes), courage and wisdom. Happy 2012 to you!!!

  2. I agree Cinda and Angel! 🙂 It does start to get easier once you experience the ups and downs a few times and begin to learn how to manage them. You become more familiar with the signs and symptoms much earlier and then can enact your plan of attack sooner and catch it before it spirals out of control. But, it takes time, and advice from professionals, guidance, support, and a whole lot of self-awareness. Getting to know your own body and own self is one of the biggest ingredients in trying to manage the “bipolar coaster.” But, once you’ve been through the storm a few times, the storm does becomes a little less scary and you begin to learn that you will survive and can make it through. Like Angel said, you won’t ever be cured, but it can be managed, and you can still be successful. All of us here at Ask A Bipolar have our ups and downs, but we bounce back and continue to help everyone here. And Cinda, your daughter is amazing and doing amazing things right now. She is not cured, but has developed great self awareness and skills to help her manage it so she can continue to be a success! Its hard work at first, but we can all do great things!!! It gets better in time. I promise! <3 christi <3

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