“Why does my boyfriend always breakup with me!.? I know he’s bipolar,but still why?”
Well it’s simple! Your boyfriend breaks up with you literally, because he is bipolar. Without knowing him, and giving him the benefit of the doubt that he is a good guy, not a complete user and loser who doesn’t have anything to offer, and when he tells you he wants to be with you forever you know he’s not lying…. Then ya, it’s simple. If I’ve missed the mark, and he’s not generally a good guy, then probably disregard this.
He breaks up with you because he is overwhelmed by his feelings of being abandoned in the future, his awareness that he likes you more than you like him, and because he needs something solid to let him know that together you will work on your relationship while understanding that he has an illness that needs to be attended to. I would imagine you guys break up every time something goes even mildly wrong, that to you is just a mistake, or some bad behavior trait that needs to be worked on. To him, it’s not exactly “mild.” To him, it’s the proof he’s been looking for that you just do not understand, you will not keep him safe, and your relationship isn’t secure.
Bipolar disorder is chock full of oxy morons… like how we can’t follow directions but we need solid and unwavering structure, we are really excellent in certain areas… better than anyone you’ve ever met, but we can’t ever finish anything we start; and in relationships this looks like us always saying things like “don’t try to control/change me!” but at the same time begging for a sense of security that can only happen if we let you control us a little bit.
It’s very frustrating for him, as well as it is for you. I break up with my boyfriend all the time too, and I know we both suffer from my illness to almost the same degree, just in different ways. I know the right things for him to say to me, but it doesn’t matter if I know them if he doesn’t. I need him to tell me he understands what I go through, and have found out about this condition on his own and bring to me what he’s learned. I need to know that he wants to help me, and that he won’t let me stray too far without finding me. But this is for me. I would suggest above all, to move away from a blame/fault mindset when trying to figure this stuff out. Even if it seems natural to tell him what his fault is, it promotes a much more unified and team oriented mentality to never place blame on one person alone, but instead to say “what do WE need to do to get better” and still make sure both sides are willing, ready, and able to be accountable for their actions without being blamed.
Again, I hope this helps, and not knowing your boyfriend it was a shot in the dark. But even if I don’t know your boyfriend I know the illness VERY well, and feel free to take what you need and leave the rest.