I am 33yrs old with 3 sons and I am bipolar. My middle son who is 11 is also bipolar. Although I understand completely how he feels and what he’s going through I find it really hard at times to deal with him especially when I’m. In one of my really high or extremely low moods. I’m rarely ever in the normal range. And my episodes are a constant up and down roller coaster. I find myself being extremely physically emotionally and mentally exhausted to where I can’t deal or help my son who is going through the same thing. I feel like a failure as a mom and it hurts. Is there anyone else who is going through this too?
You are so not a failure as a mom. I know exactly how you feel. What’s worse is my son usually feeds off of my cycles. Especially my low moods. There isn’t really a magic way to deal with this, but I can tell you a few things that have helped me.
When I first found out my son had BP (when he was 7) I had only just been diagnosed 2 years earlier. As it was I knew very few people with BP and absolutely no one with a bipolar child. I felt alone and trapped and helpless. How was I going to deal with this child when I could barely deal with myself?!?!?!
But what I soon realized is that having bipolar has it’s benefits when dealing with him because I have a special power no one else does … I get him! I get what he’s feeling. I get why he does what he does. I get that he’s not trying to be difficult. And I get that he sometimes has no control over his actions. I get this all because I too go through all the same things.
I know what it’s like to want to die.
I know what it’s like to have my mind racing so fast that I don’t know if I am euphoric or insanely irritable.
I get what it’s like to do or say things that moments later I regret.
I get what it’s like to not bet gotten.
This was the first step to improving my outlook on our situation. I could connect with him in a way no one else could.
HOWEVER … that didn’t solve the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Fortunately (or not so fortunately according to my husband) I’m addicted to the internet. About a year earlier I had began blogging. I did it to learn about the writing/publishing world, but eventually it led to an entire new life. I soon realized the relationships which could be built through blogging/social networking. After my son was diagnosed I began a private blog where I just let loose. (http://
And I wasn’t. I googled all sorts of different combinations of bipolar, bipolar kids, bipolar moms, etc. and came across http://mysonhas2brains.
Not too long after I started AaB. I’ve built SOOO many relationships with other mom’s who also have bipolar and bipolar children. I’ve met other women my age with bipolar. I’ve met men who’s wives have bipolar and vice versa. Suddenly I had an entire support system.
And THAT was the key.
Having a support system of people who understood what it was like to be me changed my life. We all struggle together. We all hold each other up.
Seriously though. Even if you don’t join our group … it’s important to find some sort, ANY sort of support system. You can find support groups online at www.mdjunction.com or http://www.thebalancedmind.
And if anything … NEVER hesitate to email me when you are in need of someone to talk to. If you ever feel like you don’t even know how you’re going to get through the day … email me. It’s what I’m here for 🙂
Hope this was helpful. And seriously … you are NOT a failure as a mom.