How do you deal with happiness? I don’t mean mania, I mean the kind of happiness that comes along when something good happens in your life or when it seems life everything in life is just going the right way. Can you just sit back relax and enjoy it or are you like some who are looking over their shoulder waiting for the proverbial “other shoe” to drop. I believe I fall a little into both categories. I can enjoy the happiness while I have it, but I am cautious about it because I know that happiness is fleeting and very fragile. It can be taken away from you just as quickly as it was given to you.
My life has been steadily improving for the last two years (in baby steps). I am finally at a very comfortable place in my life. I can actually relax a little bit and enjoy what life has to offer. I have been very blessed. God has blessed me with the ability to provide a home of our own for me & my children, a nice car and financial security that we are able to take care of ourselves. I have friends in my life that I cherish, that also care about me and I have the love and support of an amazing family. My children are both healthy. Bug’s bipolar is pretty well stable and both girls are doing great in school. Right now, I am probably more stable than I have ever been in my entire life. My life has been going pretty good. But for the last year I have been cautiously looking over my shoulder so to speak waiting on the fall. Preparing myself for when the wrecking ball comes and knocks it all out from under my feet. Every night I pray and give thanks for what I have and ask for continued blessings.
Now two weeks ago I started dating this guy. I thought he was really nice and funny. I really enjoyed being around him. But I was terrified of him finding out my secret. What would he do when he found out about my Bipolar. But very shortly after we started dating it came up in a conversation and he was very understanding. He actually has a friend who is bipolar and understands quite a bit about it. When He found out about my chronic back pain and spinal problems he was very compassionate. At every new turn when I have feared rejection he has always surprised me with acceptance and tolerance and compassion. I can’t begin to express how great a guy he is. But again, I cautiously enjoy this happiness because I know happiness is a fragile thing and the past has taught me that when you least expect it is when you will lose the most. So I wait and watch wondering when the rejection will come. I expect it, but it hasn’t come yet. He always surprises me. Could he truly except me just the way I am, flaws and all?
So how will you deal with happiness the next time something in your life goes the right way? Will you just accept the fact that happiness happens sometimes and enjoy it while it lasts. Or will you constantly be looking for something lurking in the shadows to steal your happiness away? My advice, enjoy the day for what it is. The Lord only promises us today. You can’t change yesterday it is the past. Don’t worry about tomorrow, it may never get here. Live today for today, it is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.