When guilt rears its ugly head again

When you think the guilt monsters have gone on their merry way, BAM! They make their move!

It all starts with one single thought of self doubt, then it becomes like a domino train that seems to never end.

“I deserve to be homeless.”

“I don’t deserve anything.”

“I’m a nuisance to others.”

“If I wasn’t here people would be happier.”

“If I wasn’t such a failure, I would maybe even know how to like or love myself.”

“I’m a bad person.”

“I want to hurt myself.”

And the list goes on, and the guilt monsters keep screaming things to you to see how strong you really are.  Be prepared to fight back, with your bipolar weapons!

Here’s the things we should think instead, of the above.

“Whether I deserve it or not, I’m grateful to have a roof over my head.”

“I’m thankful for what I have and will accept it.”

“I may feel like a nuisance, or I can feel helpful and reach out to those who are helping me.”

“I am here, not to make others happy, but to take care of my own happiness”

“I may fail, but if I’m not looking for the successes no matter how small, I will miss out on liking or loving myself.”

“I feel badly right now, this does not equate to feeling like a bad person.”

“I want the pain to diminish in a healthy way. Temporary solutions will permanently affect me.”

When guilt rears its ugly head, what do you do to cope? I lean on my support groups, do deep breathing exercises and I cry to get it all out. The tears will flow, let them, then take a deep breath and remember you are never alone!

Written by Jules Pittman

6 thoughts on “When guilt rears its ugly head again

  1. Speaking of guilt, it’s something I still deal with frequently: before I was properly medicated, I committed so many traffic violations that my driver’s license was revoked for five years. I had a car repossessed and was homeless for a time. My credit was so awful that I couldn’t even get a bank account.

    Fast forward some years later and I’m (more or less) properly medicated and the State of Wisconsin returned my driving privilege-I even have a driving job now. I had no problem getting a new apartment in a better neighborhood and I have an account to put my money in rather than a drawer somewhere. I can do things like rent cars, travel, etc. that I was not able to do before. I juggle a class schedule on top of a full time job.

    It boils down to I believe a willingness to forgive one’s self: you should be able to forgive yourself for getting your DL revoked, previous substance abuse issues, past misdeeds with money, and not reaching your full potential. So what if you end up back in school at 45? At least you’re trying to make things right, as opposed to someone who will blame anyone or anything some goof on an AM radio talk show tells them to blame. Provided you made past misdeeds right, you should-and must-forgive yourself.

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