When I was in high school, my friends and I used to play this game called “Have You Ever?” We sat around and would ask each other questions to pry out the truth and unveil the answers to the questions that we must have the answer to. In high school it was imperative that we know who had gone past 1st, 2nd and 3rd bases and with whom because we wanted to either confirm or quash the rumors we heard, or were trying to gauge our own behaviors compared to our peers. Whatever the motive, we sat and played and found out many amazing things about each other.
Today, I thought it would be interesting to pose a “Have you ever” question to all of you guys out there. I think that so many of us who have been diagnosed with bipolar believe that our behaviors and thoughts while either manic, hypomanic, or in our depression are things only we have experienced and can make us feel more alone and isolated. Well, as I have become part of this site and have begun to interact with many others who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I have found that a lot of the things I thought only I did are really common things for others with the same diagnosis. I never would have known unless I asked though.
So, the question I ask of you today is “Have you ever used your bipolar diagnosis as an excuse for something?” I mean, there are plenty of people out there who claim a migraine when they don’t want to attend an event, or women who claim PMS when they have a sudden outburst of emotion. Has anyone done something or said something that they later regretted and then blamed it on having bipolar, when really it was just out of anger, or jealousy or something like that?
I would love to hear your responses. You can even respond anonymously. I am very interested to see and hear if this is something a lot of people do.
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Daniel B
October 9, 2011
3:24 am
Believe it or not, no, I haven’t. I’m really scrupulous about that sort of thing, and I’m worried that, if I got in that habit, it would become a real crutch.
I have excused some of my genuinely pathological behavior using bipolar disorder, but of course, that’s not really an excuse but a cause.
In some other cases, I’m not entirely sure in retrospect whether my behavior was pathological or not, but I would have believed it was at the time, or I wouldn’t have said anything.
Sorry, I know that “no” is the boring answer in a “Have you ever?” game
.
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David Eichenberg
October 9, 2011
2:02 pm
I think I’ve got to say ditto to Daniel. In fact, the more I learn about being bi-polar, the more I realize it was the likely cause of many of my bad behaviors. I used to blame things on growing up poor in a bad neighborhood, my dad dying early, etc. Looking back, the ups and downs, the impulsive behavior, and risky lifestyle are laughably obvious signs.
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martia
October 10, 2011
12:37 pm
Interesting point made. Hard for partners to figure that one out, is it or maybe not…
m x
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Julie
October 11, 2011
6:55 am
Hmmm, interesting question. The only time I can recall anything like that,would be when I would give myslef this reson, as to why a past romantic relationship did’nt pan out, I never explained fairly to guys I had bipolar,and when something went wrong in the realtionship, I would find myself playing the blame game. And then be upset if things didnt work out,I never have actually came out and said to the guy , “I have a mood disorder,thats why I’m jealous or upset right now”, but i would try to trick myslef into thinking ,that must be THE One and ONLY reason why this relationship didn’t work. This ofcourse doesnt hapen anymore,since I found my husband.
I have made mistakes in friendships,just like I think everybody has(bipolar or not bipolar),I believe friendship lasts when people agree from the start, there is no boundaries to exceed anyone’s expectations. Something very hard to learn and accept. I’m not like a lot of people who have “best” friends, I just call some of them lifers, meaning I want them in my life forever,somehow.
I think some people get wrapped up in the moment of who they are,and where they come from,(with bipolar)when bipolar shouldn’t be used as a crutch to explain every little feeling. I’m not a victim of this illness,but I am a realist. Thats why I reach out to AaB support and have formed some meaningflul friendships along the way,but its okay if not everybody is a “lifer”,because I think God places certain people in your pathway for even the meer purpose of a wide spectrum. This is my opinion. So its okay with realtionships that break, or freindships that fade,there is always a reason for the past-no regrets,no regrets, regret is a tool for self destruction.
So that being said,(almost a novel) your question is a good reminder that we are all human and make error,even if we have abused our own illness,to justify a behavior,its up to the individual to learn from their mistakes,and if they cant, well I dont want to be around someone who might abuse their mental illness like that.- much love jules
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Vicky Reply:
October 11th, 2011 at 9:24 pm
Jules I can relate to a lot of what you said in your post…… Vicky
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