How believing in a higher power has contributed to my recovery.

I don’t know about you, but religion plays a big part in my life… I go to church as often as I can (which is difficult because I don’t drive…) Church is pretty much the one place that I feel comfortable… It is the only place that I can truly relax and feel at home…

Now, just to be clear right off the bat, I’m not trying to convert you or convince you in any way that my beliefs are better than yours, because each person has a right to their own beliefs… That being said…

God has played a big part in my journey with bipolar… He has saved my life so many times and in so many ways…

When I was 11, and just beginning to feel the effects of having mental health issues, I was lost and confused… I had no idea why I was so different from all my friends… I was going through all these ups and downs… I was having thoughts that I was too ashamed to share with my friends… Just when I was about to give up hope and started thinking suicide was my only way to stop the insanity, I read an article in a magazine about mental health… I truly believe that God meant for me to see that article… Treatment soon followed…

Now, I’m not saying I live a happy life that mimics Christ in every way… I still have tons of problems… I still have the ups and downs of dealing with bipolar, and all the many problems that causes… Even though I believe deeply that God loves me and is with me every step of the way, there are times I feel so alone, and like He isn’t there… I know in my heart He is, but in my head, it’s hard to comprehend… There have been many times that I’ve felt so alone that I tried to kill myself. This isn’t to say the only reason I attempted suicide is because I didn’t feel God’s presence, because that’s not true… But every time I tried to kill myself, no matter how I did it, God has pulled me through… Sure there was that time I was in a coma for a while and they didn’t think I’d make it, but I did!!! God must have a plan for me, because He keeps saving me…

I also cut myself on a routine basis… I know that I should view my body as a temple and not hurt it, but I just can’t help it!!! The hymn “Sanctuary” is something that I sing to myself constantly… And, yes, sometimes it does keep me from cutting. And even from throwing up (I also have an eating disorder…) Just praying and knowing that God made me in His image is sometimes enough to get me through some of the most difficult times…

God is my savior… I live my life the best I can… I know that isn’t good enough, though, which is why I’m glad Jesus died for our sins… God forgives me for each cut and each suicide attempt… God guides me through my ups and downs… He keeps me safely strapped in to this roller coaster I call a life…

How about you??? Are you religious in anyway??? Do you believe in some sort of higher power that guides you through life???

5 thoughts on “How believing in a higher power has contributed to my recovery.

  1. Great Post, once again. Thanks.

    Yes I Believe there is a God. I don’t attend a church, but it’s on my list for me to find one.

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