So, here I am, sitting in a recliner in front of the nurse’s station in the psych ward. (Yes, I am writing this from the psych ward. And, of course, promoting AaB all the way!) Oh, yeah, and it’s also after 1 AM… Yeah, I’m having a ball… Things have not been going to good for me lately. I’ve been cutting more, not sleeping, not eating, hallucinating, and my mood was very unstable. My Pdoc, therapist, case manager, and even my peer support specialist have been trying to get me to sign myself into the hospital. I was stubborn as a mule, though, and refused to listen. Things progressively got worse, and I continued to make excuses-“I have too many appointments coming up.” “My mother will be furious.” “Classes are starting.” “I’ll miss my dog and my niece.” On and on it went. Eventually I started to come to my senses. One day, I decided to pack a duffle bag just to prepare for the inevitable. A few days later, I cut myself worse than usual. The next day, I decided to take my already packed duffle bag, hoped on the bus for the hour long ride to the hospital, where I began sporting the stylish lime green hospital gowns. They asked me all the standard questions, and then I was taken to the 4th floor.
You’re probably wondering why I’m sitting in a recliner in front of the nurse’s station. (I know I would be! This hospital sure isn’t rich enough to get everyone a recliner!) I’m sitting here because this is where I’m supposed to sleep tonight (if I sleep at all, that is…) You see, things had gotten so bad for me, that I no longer felt safe by myself. So I told the nurses I might find a way to cut if I was in my room, so I am in the recliner.
So, that’s my exciting adventure into yet another hospital stay! And the moral of this story is… Slow and steady wins the… Oh, no! Wait! That’s the wrong adventure! This moral is, get yourself help as soon as you can. Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today, especially when it comes to your health (physical or mental). I kept putting it off, and I ended up in a way worse place than I would’ve been had I just checked in sooner. Lesson learned!!!