Can someone suffering from bipolar be reasoned with?

“I’ve been in contact with a man with bipolar for well over a year.  We met twice and it was lovely and he was very “normal”. However, since then every time he arranges to meet me, he always cancels the meeting at the last minute and this has been going on for quite some time now. He never gives a reasonable explanation although I have reason to believe that he wants to but can’t.  Could I be a trigger and is there a way for him to overcome this?”

I don’t want to say that you in yourself are a trigger, but it could be the idea of you that is triggering him.  Maybe he’s afraid to get too close to you, or anyone else for that matter. There are many reasons this could be true, such as he may have been hurt by someone in the past. He may also like you so much that he doesn’t want to hurt you in the end. Quite often people with bipolar have difficulties in relationships because the person is so unstable with their moods and how they handle their day to day situations and lives.

I know for me, I’m quite often scared to get too close to a person too quickly (or sometimes at all!!!) for fear of what they might think of me or do to me. Not everyone understands the intricacies that go with bipolar, and want to put in the work it takes to keep the relationship strong. Or they want to try and control the person with bipolar and ‘help’ them too much.

But have no fear! There is hope yet!!!

Let this man know that you are interested in him, bipolar and all. Reassure him that you won’t leave him and that you want to be there to support him. Don’t force him to talk about things he isn’t ready to talk about, such as what exactly is keeping him from making a full commitment. To be fair to you, I think it’s ok to ask for a general summary just to make sure you will be able to handle the situation. In my opinion, the biggest thing you can do for him, and for the relationship, is to make sure he knows that you won’t leave him at the slightest mood change and you’re in it for the long haul. Reassurance, reassurance, reassurance!!!

Good luck with this relationship, and God bless!!!

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