Its that time of year where everyone lists the things they are thankful for, and although we often talk about how our illnesses have made our lives so difficult, I have to admit I have a LOT to be thankful for this year. This is a post I wrote last year, but I STILL mean every word! (As well as the ones I have added!)
When I look back to where I was two three years ago, this is the situation I see this …
– Quit my job because I lost my mind.
– Lost most of my friends.
– Then had to deal with my husband losing his job.
– Was losing my house.
– Lost my credit.
– Had a father who was just recovering from quadrupedal bypass surgery.
– Could not afford to buy gifts for my own children for Christmas so had to go through Toys for Tots.
– Was on food stamps.
– Had shut off notices on all my bills.
– Had a VERY rocky marriage.
– Was heading down some very wrong roads and making very poor life decisions.
– Had no direction in life.
– Felt absolutely no sense of self worth.
– Had lost all my faith.
It wasn’t a pretty picture. It was a very depressing and very disheartening.
They say you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb up. If that wasn’t rock bottom, I don’t even want to know what rock bottom looks like, but it sure did feel like it.
Today I am thankful I do not live that life any longer. Today I see something very different. Today I see this…
– Am a successful stay at home mother.
– Am an amazing writer with a wonderful future ahead of me.
– Have a happy healthy family, that although it is not perfect, it is whole.
– Have a husband with a stable job and a steady income.
– Have a roof over my head with no threat of losing it anytime soon. Although if I did, I have a back up plan.
– Have a savings account.
– Have a financial savings plan.
– Am rebuilding my credit.
– Reconnected with the lost friends who were important.
– Have my sanity (at least 75% of the time…that’s a step up!)
– Don’t have have to worry about how we are going to buy our children gifts for Christmas.
– Have found my faith.
– Making healthy life choices and have rid myself of toxic situations.
– Have self confidence again.
And that was last year… I have more to add this year … This year I …
– Have this website and all the insanely wonderful friends I have made through it.
– Have SSI and Medicaid for my son, so going into next year we will be able to afford every bit of care we need!
– A new home. It’s beautiful! No more mice, no more water, no more mold.
– Talents that provide side jobs such as web design, editing, and social media marketing
– Reconnected with even more friends I had lost and gained a few new friends through the writing world.
– Realized my calling as an advocate for Bipolar Disorder and did something about it!
I can’t imagine a time in my life where I was ever as thankful as I am today. Today I pray to God and thank him for every thing he has provided me with.
Now here is where it get’s crazy…
I thank God for putting me through everything I went through two three years ago. I was heading down a steep hill and making every wrong decision a person could make. I thank him for the big smack upside the head. Had I not gone through any of that, I wouldn’t be who I am today. And for the first time in the last … I don’t know … maybe even ten years, I can totally say I am proud of who I am. I am proud to be me. I am proud to be my husbands wife. I am proud of my children. I am proud of the mother I have become.
And for that, I am abundantly thankful!