Its that time of year where everyone lists the things they are thankful for, and although we often talk about how our illnesses have made our lives so difficult, I have to admit I have a LOT to be thankful for this year. This is a post I wrote last year, but I STILL  mean every word! (As well as the ones I have added!)

When I look back to where I was two three years ago, this is the situation I see this …

I …

- Quit my job because I lost my mind.

- Lost most of my friends.

- Then had to deal with my husband losing his job.

- Was losing my house.

- Lost my credit.

- Had a father who was just recovering from quadrupedal bypass surgery.

- Could not afford to buy gifts for my own children for Christmas so had to go through Toys for Tots.

- Was on food stamps.

- Had shut off notices on all my bills.

- Had a VERY rocky marriage.

- Was heading down some very wrong roads and making very poor life decisions.

- Had no direction in life.

- Felt absolutely no sense of self worth.

- Had lost all my faith.

It wasn’t a pretty picture. It was a very depressing and very disheartening.

BUT

They say you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb up. If that wasn’t rock bottom, I don’t even want to know what rock bottom looks like, but it sure did feel like it.

Today I am thankful I do not live that life any longer. Today I see something very different. Today I see this…

I…

- Am a successful stay at home mother.

- Am an amazing writer with a wonderful future ahead of me.

- Have a happy healthy family, that although it is not perfect, it is whole.

- Have a husband with a stable job and a steady income.

- Have a roof over my head with no threat of losing it anytime soon. Although if I did, I have a back up plan.

- Have a savings account.

- Have a financial savings plan.

- Am rebuilding my credit.

- Reconnected with the lost friends who were important.

- Have my sanity (at least 75% of the time…that’s a step up!)

- Don’t have have to worry about how we are going to buy our children gifts for Christmas.

- Have found my faith.

- Making healthy life choices and have rid myself of toxic situations.

- Have self confidence again.

And that was last year… I have more to add this year … This year I …

- Have this website and all the insanely wonderful friends I have made through it.

- Have SSI and Medicaid for my son, so going into next year we will be able to afford every bit of care we need!

- A new home. It’s beautiful! No more mice, no more water, no more mold.

- Talents that provide side jobs such as web design, editing, and social media marketing

- Reconnected with even more friends I had lost and gained a few new friends through the writing world.

- Realized my calling as an advocate for Bipolar Disorder and did something about it!

I can’t imagine a time in my life where I was ever as thankful as I am today. Today I pray to God and thank him for every thing he has provided me with.

Now here is where it get’s crazy…

I thank God for putting me through everything I went through two three years ago. I was heading down a steep hill and making every wrong decision a person could make. I thank him for the big smack upside the head. Had I not gone through any of that, I wouldn’t be who I am today. And for the first time in the last … I don’t know … maybe even ten years, I can totally say I am proud of who I am. I am proud to be me. I am proud to be my husbands wife. I am proud of my children. I am proud of the mother I have become.

And for that, I am abundantly thankful!

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