Things to be Thankful for … Hitting Rock Bottom

Its that time of year where everyone lists the things they are thankful for, and although we often talk about how our illnesses have made our lives so difficult, I have to admit I have a LOT to be thankful for this year. This is a post I wrote last year, but I STILLĀ  mean every word! (As well as the ones I have added!)

When I look back to where I was two three years ago, this is the situation I see this …

I …

– Quit my job because I lost my mind.

– Lost most of my friends.

– Then had to deal with my husband losing his job.

– Was losing my house.

– Lost my credit.

– Had a father who was just recovering from quadrupedal bypass surgery.

– Could not afford to buy gifts for my own children for Christmas so had to go through Toys for Tots.

– Was on food stamps.

– Had shut off notices on all my bills.

– Had a VERY rocky marriage.

– Was heading down some very wrong roads and making very poor life decisions.

– Had no direction in life.

– Felt absolutely no sense of self worth.

– Had lost all my faith.

It wasn’t a pretty picture. It was a very depressing and very disheartening.

BUT

They say you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb up. If that wasn’t rock bottom, I don’t even want to know what rock bottom looks like, but it sure did feel like it.

Today I am thankful I do not live that life any longer. Today I see something very different. Today I see this…

I…

– Am a successful stay at home mother.

– Am an amazing writer with a wonderful future ahead of me.

– Have a happy healthy family, that although it is not perfect, it is whole.

– Have a husband with a stable job and a steady income.

– Have a roof over my head with no threat of losing it anytime soon. Although if I did, I have a back up plan.

– Have a savings account.

– Have a financial savings plan.

– Am rebuilding my credit.

– Reconnected with the lost friends who were important.

– Have my sanity (at least 75% of the time…that’s a step up!)

– Don’t have have to worry about how we are going to buy our children gifts for Christmas.

– Have found my faith.

– Making healthy life choices and have rid myself of toxic situations.

– Have self confidence again.

And that was last year… I have more to add this year … This year I …

– Have this website and all the insanely wonderful friends I have made through it.

– Have SSI and Medicaid for my son, so going into next year we will be able to afford every bit of care we need!

– A new home. It’s beautiful! No more mice, no more water, no more mold.

– Talents that provide side jobs such as web design, editing, and social media marketing

– Reconnected with even more friends I had lost and gained a few new friends through the writing world.

– Realized my calling as an advocate for Bipolar Disorder and did something about it!

I can’t imagine a time in my life where I was ever as thankful as I am today. Today I pray to God and thank him for every thing he has provided me with.

Now here is where it get’s crazy…

I thank God for putting me through everything I went through two three years ago. I was heading down a steep hill and making every wrong decision a person could make. I thank him for the big smack upside the head. Had I not gone through any of that, I wouldn’t be who I am today. And for the first time in the last … I don’t know … maybe even ten years, I can totally say I am proud of who I am. I am proud to be me. I am proud to be my husbands wife. I am proud of my children. I am proud of the mother I have become.

And for that, I am abundantly thankful!

One thought on “Things to be Thankful for … Hitting Rock Bottom

  1. Hello there. I would just like to say that this letter that you wrote has moved me very much. I am going through some rough stuff right now myself and I do hope I come out of it like you did when you hit bottom.

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